We had dated a little bit. After a few weeks, it all came crashing down but I still felt the relationship was alive. We became very close friends and she kept insisting that we were ‘just friends’ (I HATE that phrase). In my head she was still my girlfriend – my delusional ways, I tell you.
It left me devastated but I was determined to succeed. My friends saw the emotional and mental wreck I had become and it was obvious she was the cause. I knew she was the cause too. But that is my problem. I am a persistent, pushy bitch who wont take no for an answer (how dogs keep begging till you give them at least a miniscule bite of what you are eating) Finally I gave up as I realized it was the maximum I could do to win over a wall. I gave up. End of the love story.
A few months later, I was much better off mentally and emotionally. Then, I met S. She was a fantastic, intelligent, incredibly smart and beautiful woman. Yes, we began dating (we still are) and it is good. I had never been in a non-committal relationship, ever. The freedom is amazing and the sex even better.
However, my association with S and someone else too (u know who you are – E) got me thinking – Would I have ever fallen in love with K had I met her at a different juncture in life, like now? And if my falling in love with her was just the feeling of being overwhelmed by someone who could just look in your eyes and know what is running through your head/heart? Was my lack of experience in open-relationships a primary reason? Or was it simply because of the brilliant physical AND emotional chemistry we shared?
The question still lingers in my head – can we over-react and fall in love? When our senses just refuse to work and falling in love is the only way to let out all the complex set of feelings bottled up inside. I may never know the answers though these episodes throw up a lot of interesting questions. Maybe I should ask a certain bitch called Destiny.
P.S: If you are called Destiny, sincere apologies.
